My sister, Sherry Carpenter Leavell, delivered this eulogy at my mom's memorial service this morning. It was not so much a eulogy as it was a tribute to my father, Jack Carpenter. I thought you, my readers, might like to read it. I wish you could have heard it. I was so proud of my sister, and of the others that spoke/sang/read at the memorial service: sister Kathy Carpenter Brooks and nieces Callie Brooks Picardo, Amy Leavell Cooper, and Belle Ensor.
Memories of a Marriage
Over 60 years ago, on June
19, 1953, at the youthful age of 20 and 22, my parents Jack and Diane
were married. My Dad on that hot June day, home on a weekend leave from
serving in the army at Fort Knox, said the
following words: “I, Jack, take you Diane, to be my wife, to have and
to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for
poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day
forward until death do us part.”
It is with much admiration
that their four daughters, 11 grandchildren, and many other family members
and wonderful friends, have witnessed this couple as they so
beautifully kept their wedding vows in sickness and
in health, till death has caused them to be apart for a time.
Over 12 years ago, my Mom
was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. The first few years, my parents,
who were affectionately called by so many of us, Gramme and Honey, were
able to continue their routine of wintering
in Destin, Florida, hosting our large family for Christmas night,
eating dinner out most nights, Daddy playing lots of golf, and Mom
happily entertaining herself at home. Slowly over the past handful of
years as Mom's memory loss escalated, their lives began
to change and narrow.
Almost four years ago, my
Dad had a hip replacement and was in the hospital for a few days and
then went to Oaklawn for rehab. Mom was so distraught without Honey that
her confusion greatly increased and made it
impossible and unsafe for her to remain at home, even with us taking
turns staying with her. We moved her to The Episcopal Church Home for
her to settle in and begin a life apart from Honey. In our minds, it was
time and we thought Dad would enjoy the freedom
with less responsibility.
Not so. Honey recovered
from his hip surgery and missed her so much that on Mother's Day of
2010, he checked her out of the home and was determined he could care
for Mom all by himself. He cooked for her, he cleaned
the house, he took care of their large yard, he bathed her, dressed her
and tended to her every need. I am convinced that the reason Mom lived
as long as she did is because she was so well loved and cared for by
Dad.
In God's Word, John 15:13
tells us, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life
for one's friends." That is a sacrificial love, an unconditional
selfless love and that is what we have all been so
beautifully privileged to witness these past 12 years. What is the
secret to their love? You may be asking yourself if you were put in a
similar situation, could you go the distance and love until death do us
part? I believe the answer is found in Ecclesiastes
4:12, a cord of three strand is not easily broken. In this case, there is the husband, the wife and the Lord is the third strand.
My Mom and Dad love one
another and they also love Jesus. Daddy kneels by his bed every night
and prays long prayers. Mom use to laugh because on occasion she says
Daddy would be so worn out that he would fall asleep
kneeling on the hardwood floors beside their bed. I believe it was the Lord
who gave my Dad the perseverance, the patience and the tenderness that
Mom's disease has required all these years.
It was a true love story
and one that has changed me. I am proud of my Dad for the care and love
he gave to our Mom. There was no greater legacy or gift he could have
given to us girls than to care for our Mom in
this way. So thank you Dad. I pray you will be abundantly blessed all
your days and we look forward to making new memories with you.
